As usual, everything is but an illusion.

They're living in their world.
I'm living in my world.
However, either one thinks the other is living in their own world.


There once was a king, who ruled his kingdom and his people loved him.
One day, someone decided to play a prank on the entire kingdom, and poisoned the water from the common well.
Everyone but the king drank the water, and became mad.
Soon, the entire kingdom was mad, and they looked at their king and called him crazy.
Sure enough, the king was made to drink the water from the well, and he became sane again.
And the entire kingdom rejoyced at the recovery of their beloved King.


What makes us think we know what we know?

I knew it.
Ugh. That's the worse part.
In fact, I was expecting it. Maybe I even willed it?

There were signs all around already.
Car stalling.
Lost.
Thing is, the car hardly stalls on me. And I've dropped the twins home a zillion times already. Yet something I'm so familiar with was getting really messy.
Msges and calls kept disrupting me, and I let it. It didn't help that I was calling and sms while driving a fucking manual car.
I was in a rushed space that day. Actually I'm not too sure why. I woke up that morning with only 1 thing on my mind: things to get done. And I never concentrated on what I was doing, but always about what was to be done next.
That was stupid.
Plain stupid. It's so... duh.
So I was on the way back, rushing BECAUSE the big one was hungry and I promised to send his food back at 3.45pm.
I left Thompson at 3.40pm.
With Di upfront and the in-car DJ behind with all his equiptment, we got lost (??!?!) even on the way back.
Something was REALLY REALLY wrong, considering Cheena travels oh-so-often to the office.
And I was flying real fast, and nearly overtook into another Merc.
Close shave.
Back on the PIE finally and I decided to exit at Bedok.
Why?! I usually exit at Simei!
Going round the sharp bend, I really really cleverly decided to speed up. To 80km/h.
AND THEN i realized the road was wet.
Too late. The wheels locked, the breaks wern't working.
And it didn't occur to me to pull the handbreak.
hee.
Crash. Into the barrier and dragged all the way for the next 5 secs. We stopped just before it hit the concrete barrier.
Throughout the entire incident I was watching myself watch myself, and it was pretty amusing. Half of me was going 'oh shit kelvin's going to kill me' and the other half was going 'weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! An accident!'
Suprisingly the car was hardly damaged. Scratched only. Of course the wheel was gone, and the car dragged its sorry lil red ass back to the office.

The 3 of us however, went all the way back laughing.
Sometimes, Life plays really amusing jokes on us.

The trap.
Its seamless.
Almost, at least.
I cannot speak of its beauty.
It's but a work of art and brilliance.
So invisible, so simple, so complex, so perfect.
So sinister.
Wrapped around a human so tight like gladwrap, its almost impossible to discover.
Its timeless.
And no one escapes it.

The human trap - of life and death.
And the only way out, is to die in this lifetime.

Beautiful.

Yup.
Its so beautifully fucked up.

What has become of human beings?

I'm tired and drained.
There's so much complaining going on insde. The directors keep holding conferences and they usually don't get anywhere.

I don't feel like I'm doing much. Yet there's so much stuff in my space.

Physically: My body aches like fuck. My neck, my back, my pussy and my crack. No no. Kidding. I just had to do that. See. I miss dancing too. My spine feels wierd and needs cracking back into place. Snack Crackle and Pop just like rice crispies. Speaking of food, I've very much put on more Undesirable Fatty Overlaps on my hips and thighs its unspeakable. UNspeakable I tell 'ya. And what am I doing about it? Nothing. AND YOU CANT MAKE ME.

Mentally: I can't think and I never could.

Spiritually: I'm all over the place. And honestly although I'd love more mind-fucking answers, whats at the top of my mind are results. Suffer before reward *snort* Can't be much at peace lately. Like I said, stuff keeps popping in to handle.

Emotionally: Flipping and flopping. All sorts. Talk about pinball machine. I know i'll end up crying in a laughter process.

Instinctively: Ouch. They wernt' listened to yesterday. They're hurt, upset and sitting one corner sulking for a bit. I'll need to lure them out and cheer them up with Cheezels.

See. I'm even falling asleep blogging this. Its poposterous. And I don't care if I didnt get that spelling right.

Things are off - work is being delayed and there's never ending things to do. Coachees are not producing results. Driving is insane and I experienced several near accidents. Easily making people wrong. Buying chocolate (not good). Eating suppers when I don't need to (also not good).

I think i'll blame it on my menses.